The Story Of How My Life Became Sweet Sweet Chaos!

My hubby and I had finally decided we were ready to give our daughter a sibling. Having been through assisted conception with IUI the first time round we were back again. After a first failed insemination and a second aborted (4 eggs… no thanks), round 3 we had 2 eggs, one good one, the other ok.

We were told there may be a chance of twins, but the likely hood was low. I did my research to try and find some figures of the chances and felt confident that we were not going to end up with a twin pregnancy.

We didn’t want a twin pregnancy. But hey… we got one!

Those first few weeks were horrible. My husband and I didn’t know what to say to each other so we barely spoke. We were terrified about all the things… the risk of carrying 2 babies, how our eldest would cope with 2 siblings, what would happen to my body, our relationship with each other, how we could afford it, how do you manage 3 under 3… it was rough.

Emotionally there were some very dark times during the early stages of pregnancy for me, and for the whole pregnancy for my husband. But man was he tough. He showed up for work and for our daughter everyday with a smile plastered on his face, and came along to most appointments holding my hand even though he was not coping with it at all.

Physically my twin pregnancy was pretty straight forward. I felt pretty nauseous for the first 16ish weeks, but morning sickness wasn’t too bad. I’m a tall strong woman… so apart from growing a stomach that would enter a room 2 steps ahead of me, I carried my babies well. Things that really helped;

Daily from about 20 weeks I wore compression shorts to help give me some relief from the weight.

My daughter became an incredible swimmer as we spent every spare moment in the pool to help take the load off and allow me to do some exercise. I found swimming laps pretty comfortable too until about 34 weeks. I did have some inguinal ligament pain, which the compression shorts helped with, and I used a belly band for the last 8 or so weeks sporadically. At 31 weeks I was lucky enough to be able to finish up my part time job and I had an iron infusion which was amazing!!!

That was when my cravings also finally settled down - I could not eat enough celery?!? Don’t ask me why?? So weird!

My midwifery and obstetric care was amazing. I was so lucky to have a private midwife hold my hand and help me navigate all the emotional and physical changes that were happening. She was part of the team acting as my doula as she wasn’t working at the hospital. I also signed up for MGP (midwifery group practice) at the Royal Hospital for Women in Sydney, which was so wonderful to have a small group of midwives I got to know very well support me at each and every appointment I had with the Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) team at the hospital.

MFM can be a really scary place if you don’t have any idea about pregnancy and birth. I think it is so important if you are wanting to work towards a vaginal delivery, that you have a team that supports that decision, because from my experience, the MFM team wanted to book me in for a C-Section pretty early on. Having done pregnancy and birth before with my daughter, I had knowledge of what I was capable of and what my options were for birthing my babies.

Every scan I had (of which there were so many compared to a singleton pregnancy), my babies were growing well and looked healthy, but twin A was never in a good position! I got close to the end of pregnancy with twin A and B in a breech position, and my OB was happy for me to deliver them breech. We were almost there… and then at about 36+6 weeks twin A decided to move into a transverse position and get stuck there… they were big babies. The MFM team wanted to keep me in the hospital then for monitoring and a C-section that week. My midwives and OB were happy for me to go home, under the proviso that if I went into labour, I would lie down and call an ambulance. I wasn’t ready to have my babies… so I left that appointment, went home and had a date booked in for 37+4.

I still felt physically ok, so I called them on that date, and told them I wasn’t coming in for my C-section!! I had done all the right things and had another appointment with my midwife and OB and they told me I could have the weekend and come back in on Monday.

So I packed my bags and that’s what I did. And I’m so glad I listened to my body. I went into labour that day, having such mild contractions that I didn’t even realise. My body was ready and my head… well I’m not sure if you’re ever ready for 2 newborns!

My C-section was booked in again for 38+2, and man that was a long morning! Not being an emergency I got bumped plenty of times,

but watching Pitch Perfect 1, 2 and 3 kept me entertained while I waited.

Once I went down to theatres it was hectic. There were 2 anesthetists, my OB and his 2 registrars, 2 midwives, nursing staff, and my husband in the theatre, and it all happened very quickly. Baby boy was born first, what a lovely surprise that was (my husband was convinced he would end up with 3 girls), and baby girl 4 mins later.

They were fine, we had our quick cuddle and then the midwives, hubby and babies were whisked away whilst I was stitched up and sent to recovery. They met me there and I was trying to feed them, breathe, drink some water, work out if we had told all our parents everyone was ok and we had a B & G. By the time we got up to the ward, I vomited. I think I was in absolute shock, and the epidural drugs were doing their thing, and I hadn’t had a moment to process anything. I sent everyone away so my husband and I could catch our breath.

We spent 5 days on the post natal ward, figuring out breast feeding, how to physically handle 2 babies at once on the boobs, and drowning in nappies. I’m so glad I had expressed colostrum during pregnancy, as we used every last drop to help with feeds. There was a whiteboard and we kept track of times of feeds, how long babies were latched and wees and poos (not just for the babies but for me too!).

We had minimal visitors which was really good. I was in no state to entertain, my husband and I just needed to sleep as much as we could. We were free to go home after 5 days and I couldn’t get there fast enough. I wanted my own bed, shower, couch and some good food.

The first few months, and if I’m honest probably 2 years were a blur! The best feeding pillow was the My Brest Friend pillow. The twin Z was only good for me to prop babies in whilst they were awake… I could not find a good way to use it whilst I was breastfeeding.

And I’m so amazed and grateful that I managed to breastfeed for 22 months, my boobs will never look the same again :)!

For support at home I used every bit of help I could. Our friends all chipped in and paid for a cleaner for us for the first 6 months, which was so generous and so so helpful. My mum and MIL made us a dinner every week, and we had some Dinner Ladies deliveries also, which made that witching hour somewhat manageable. My mum was there almost every day for the first 6 weeks, cleaning, cooking, passing me babies, giving my daughter and I snacks and me hugs and words of encouragement when I wasn’t coping.

Slowly we found our groove. Things like nappy changes, bathing, feeding all seemed to get more manageable as we grew as a little team. Sleep was tough for a while there, I really struggled with the idea of letting my babies cry it out, so found it really hard to ask for paid help. There were times I would just lie down with them in the middle of the day and feed one of them to sleep if they wouldn’t nap, and this drove me and my hubby slightly insane. If I were to do it all again, I probably wouldn’t change it though. As annoying as it was at the time, it was what I felt comfortable with.

We had the babies sleep in our room for about the first 5 months, sharing a cot that had no side on it and attached to our bed for easy middle of the night tandem feeds and some co-sleeping. Eventually moving them into a bedroom together in seperate cots when they got a little bit more mobile and too big to share.

I set up my feeding pillows on the floor in their room and used to get them out of bed one by one, putting one on the floor while I got the other and then tandem feed in the middle of the night. It was a little unconventional, but safe and comfortable enough!

I was lucky enough to be able to take a long maternity leave, and so I was home with the babies up until til they were almost 2. We sent them off the daycare 2 days a week then, but it only lasted about 5 months when we pulled them out as they were constantly sick and it was so costing us a bomb. After that we juggled for the rest of that year with family babysitters and me working funny hours. Starting them the following year at almost 3 into family daycare which has been a beautiful journey. We also moved house a few times in that year and have had the 3 kids all sharing a bedroom along the way. I’m still only working part time which has been great to save some $$ on daycare, but also spend so much time watching their little relationship develop. All 3 of my kids adore each other, fight like cats and dogs, look after each other and drive each other crazy!

As much as we didn’t ever expect or wish for twinnies, man are we so lucky to have them. Our lives feel mostly like chaos, but it’s sweet sweet chaos with plenty of laughter, pride and so much love.

Adelaide Coghlan x